Our Kids Conversations About Adoption
(entry by Paul)
Today is adoption day! Two years ago, Ava, Abby and Ethan officially became Behnkes. A lot has happened since then. Ava has fallen in love with horses and helping people. Abby has found her independent voice and her love for fashion and all things pretty. Ethan has lost a tooth and has found a sweet spot for cuddling and saying sweet things. We're entering the more independent stage, which we love. They wipe and clean themselves, they buckle themselves in the car, they dress and pick out their clothes, take showers, and will soon be making their own lunches, at least that's our goal. This fall all of our kids will be in school five days a week. Wow, a lot has changed. But overall, our kids seem to have realized that what adoption really is and what it means.
From the very beginning we had decided that our kids would always know that they are adopted. When appropriate we would share their story with them and help them understand it. So here are a couple of conversations we've had this year.
The Family at the dinner table talking about Mommy's pregnant cousin.
AVA: Mommy when I was in your tummy...
NICKI: Ava, you were actually never in my tummy. You were in a different mommy's tummy. Before we adopted you, you had a different mommy.
ETHAN: Yeah, only me and Abby were in your tummy, right Mom?
NICKI: Nope, you guys were never in my tummy either. Before we adopted you, you all came from the same mommy's tummy.
The Family at the dinner table talking about babies.
ABBY: Mommy, I think you should have a baby.
NICKI: No way. Having three kids is really hard. Maybe we can adopt more kids someday when you're older.
Ava and Nicki talking about her birth mom on Ava's birthday.
NICKI: Ava, you know that before mommy and daddy adopted you, you had a different mommy; the mommy who grew you in her tummy? Your birth mommy made some bad choices and was not able to take care of you any more.
AVA: I know, one bad choice she made was when she put a lion in the basement and when I went into the basement I got scared. That was one bad choice she made.
NICKI: (after laughing hysterically) Do you think we should pray for your birth mom? Do you think that we should pray that she finds Jesus?
AVA: Yes, so that she can know Jesus.
Tonight's prayer at dinner.
Dear God, thank you for our family and for the opportunity for us to adopt Ava, Abby and Ethan so that we could be a family forever. Thank you for adopting us all into your family. We pray for Ava, Abby and Ethan's birth mom and dad, that they would come to know Jesus and would be adopted into your family too. So that one day if Ava, Abby and Ethan meet them, we would all be a part of your family. Amen.
Today is adoption day! Two years ago, Ava, Abby and Ethan officially became Behnkes. A lot has happened since then. Ava has fallen in love with horses and helping people. Abby has found her independent voice and her love for fashion and all things pretty. Ethan has lost a tooth and has found a sweet spot for cuddling and saying sweet things. We're entering the more independent stage, which we love. They wipe and clean themselves, they buckle themselves in the car, they dress and pick out their clothes, take showers, and will soon be making their own lunches, at least that's our goal. This fall all of our kids will be in school five days a week. Wow, a lot has changed. But overall, our kids seem to have realized that what adoption really is and what it means.
From the very beginning we had decided that our kids would always know that they are adopted. When appropriate we would share their story with them and help them understand it. So here are a couple of conversations we've had this year.
The Family at the dinner table talking about Mommy's pregnant cousin.
AVA: Mommy when I was in your tummy...
NICKI: Ava, you were actually never in my tummy. You were in a different mommy's tummy. Before we adopted you, you had a different mommy.
ETHAN: Yeah, only me and Abby were in your tummy, right Mom?
NICKI: Nope, you guys were never in my tummy either. Before we adopted you, you all came from the same mommy's tummy.
The Family at the dinner table talking about babies.
ABBY: Mommy, I think you should have a baby.
NICKI: No way. Having three kids is really hard. Maybe we can adopt more kids someday when you're older.
Ava and Nicki talking about her birth mom on Ava's birthday.
NICKI: Ava, you know that before mommy and daddy adopted you, you had a different mommy; the mommy who grew you in her tummy? Your birth mommy made some bad choices and was not able to take care of you any more.
AVA: I know, one bad choice she made was when she put a lion in the basement and when I went into the basement I got scared. That was one bad choice she made.
NICKI: (after laughing hysterically) Do you think we should pray for your birth mom? Do you think that we should pray that she finds Jesus?
AVA: Yes, so that she can know Jesus.
Tonight's prayer at dinner.
Dear God, thank you for our family and for the opportunity for us to adopt Ava, Abby and Ethan so that we could be a family forever. Thank you for adopting us all into your family. We pray for Ava, Abby and Ethan's birth mom and dad, that they would come to know Jesus and would be adopted into your family too. So that one day if Ava, Abby and Ethan meet them, we would all be a part of your family. Amen.
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