Class Complete!
Adopting Kids with Special Needs Class- Check! After spending 16 hours of our weekend sitting in the basement of an old Lutheran Church we are pleased to announce that we have successfully completed the class requirements to adopt. Was it long? Yes. Was it overwhelming? More than you know. Am I pretty sure my husband successfully annoyed most of the group with his restless legs while he tried to sit still for that long? Absolutely.
Our group was a wide variety of people. Most were current foster parents in the process of adopting a foster child that had been placed with them, some had biological children, some did not. Some of the couples were adopting grandchildren, and one of the couples in the group had been doing foster care for 37 years!.... So there we were, in a world of our own. No parenting experience, no foster care experience, no respite care background, nada-zinch-nothing. Everyone was really welcoming to us though, and besides, ever group needs the couple who can the butt of the jokes. "Poor Paul and Nicki....I bet we are scaring them away" said everyone, often.
The class itself covered topics like abuse and neglect, social and educational issues, the adoption proccess, loss and grief, child development, disabilites, and parenting a child with special needs. It was intense, the topics were heavy and dark, and by the end of it I think we can both safely say that thoughts like "Can we really handle this?" and "Why are we choosing this?" stared us directly in the face for the first time.
To debrief, Paul and I headed over to Red Robbin for some much needed monster sized cookie filled shakes and steak fries. After a few hours of indulgence and deep conversation, we landed on our biggest fears coming out of the class and were able to logically process through that. Paul's realization/fear from the weekend was the thought of possibly raising a child who, as a result of the abuse and neglect inflicted on them early in life, may not grow up to be self sustaining adults. My fear was the realization that I feel totally unprepared to parent a child who has been a victim of sexual abuse. (They said that 75% of kids in the system have a history of sexual abuse, while the other 25% is unknown, but likely- Yikes!)
After lots of talking, sugar, fries, and a few tears we came back around to what we know to be true. God is in control. He has been in control..... and you know what? He will continue to be in control. To throw a good old fashion "church" word at ya, He is sovereign. He is with our kids now, in their darkest hours. He is their protector and provider. He is near to the broken hearted and even though they aren't technically "ours" yet, we entrust them to His care. We aren't saying that they will not come out with scars and wounds, but the beautiful thing is God also heals.
So with that refreshing new perspective before us we ask you to join with us in prayer for our kids. Pray that they would be safe, fed, clothed, protected, comforted, and filled with peace as they wait.
Next up....our first of 5 visits for our home study is on Thursday, December 13th.
Our group was a wide variety of people. Most were current foster parents in the process of adopting a foster child that had been placed with them, some had biological children, some did not. Some of the couples were adopting grandchildren, and one of the couples in the group had been doing foster care for 37 years!.... So there we were, in a world of our own. No parenting experience, no foster care experience, no respite care background, nada-zinch-nothing. Everyone was really welcoming to us though, and besides, ever group needs the couple who can the butt of the jokes. "Poor Paul and Nicki....I bet we are scaring them away" said everyone, often.
The class itself covered topics like abuse and neglect, social and educational issues, the adoption proccess, loss and grief, child development, disabilites, and parenting a child with special needs. It was intense, the topics were heavy and dark, and by the end of it I think we can both safely say that thoughts like "Can we really handle this?" and "Why are we choosing this?" stared us directly in the face for the first time.
To debrief, Paul and I headed over to Red Robbin for some much needed monster sized cookie filled shakes and steak fries. After a few hours of indulgence and deep conversation, we landed on our biggest fears coming out of the class and were able to logically process through that. Paul's realization/fear from the weekend was the thought of possibly raising a child who, as a result of the abuse and neglect inflicted on them early in life, may not grow up to be self sustaining adults. My fear was the realization that I feel totally unprepared to parent a child who has been a victim of sexual abuse. (They said that 75% of kids in the system have a history of sexual abuse, while the other 25% is unknown, but likely- Yikes!)
After lots of talking, sugar, fries, and a few tears we came back around to what we know to be true. God is in control. He has been in control..... and you know what? He will continue to be in control. To throw a good old fashion "church" word at ya, He is sovereign. He is with our kids now, in their darkest hours. He is their protector and provider. He is near to the broken hearted and even though they aren't technically "ours" yet, we entrust them to His care. We aren't saying that they will not come out with scars and wounds, but the beautiful thing is God also heals.
So with that refreshing new perspective before us we ask you to join with us in prayer for our kids. Pray that they would be safe, fed, clothed, protected, comforted, and filled with peace as they wait.
Next up....our first of 5 visits for our home study is on Thursday, December 13th.
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Adopting kids, in my opinion, is very under appreciated while being just as fulfilling as raising biological kids. No matter the situation these kids are coming from, the right parents can make all the difference and be the tools that God uses to work his miracles. God bless your efforts in your adoption!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post...God is clearly working!
ReplyDeletePraying :)
I am humbled by your grappling and willingness to lay your hearts bare as you trust God. May the Lord bless you and keep you!
ReplyDeleteHuge thumbs up to this post. I love that you're so open about your spirituality and beliefs.
ReplyDeleteMy friend sent me a link to your blog because my husband and I haven't been able to conceive for years and are seriously looking into adoption through fostering. It's awesome to read about someone else, especially in Wisconsin, that's done it.