Forever

The other day while I was doing dishes our 3 year old came up to me and said "Mommy...hey Mommy..."  I would have put money down I could have guessed the "what are you doing?" question was about to follow for the millionth time that day.  Instead, she grabbed onto my leg, smiled and said "I want Mommy and Daddy to keep me forever."  In that moment my heart broke for the loss she has already been through, yet I was filled with joy and great anticipation at what lies ahead.  Paul and I are figuring out with each passing day that she hears and understands a lot more than we give her little mind credit for.  I should add, I then went on to ask her if we should keep her twin bother and sister forever too to which she thought for a moment and said.... "Nah!"

Life these days is beginning to feel normal.  We are settling into a routine as a family.  The kids are beginning to become familiar with all their new extended family.  It no longer takes me 20 minutes to get all those tricky little buckles snapped together on 3 car seats at once.  Life feels like it is really moving along and like they are fully ours.... and then we get an e-mail from the social worker, or try to find a "state approved" babysitter and reality is brought back front and center.  They aren't ours yet.

August is still the target date for the adoption assuming everything that needs to happen legally continues to line up.  I have to be careful because if I dwell on the "what if's" for too long, fear and anxiety begin to creep in.  There is something in my heart and soul that tells me without a doubt these kids are ours, yet fear slips in so easily.  The other day I was praying over the legal process when I suddenly felt overwhelmed by peace.  God is still in control.  He hasn't forgotten us.  He is near and present in each moment of my now crazy days.  I still trust Him.  He still has a plan.  If that means adoption day happens in August and the process has no hick-ups.  Praise God.  If it doesn't look as neat and clean and the process takes longer,  God's still got this.  He see's the whole picture.  I don't.

 Sometimes I forget that this process is so much deeper than I can see.  These are kids who were trapped in darkness - being offered hope.  Not only hope for a family who will love and support them, but also Spiritual hope.  We will teach them who Jesus is, model our relationship with Him, and let them make the decision for themselves if they too want to follow Him.  If I truly believe in God, then I also believe in satan and have to think he would like nothing more than to remove all hope from these children.  The battle for our kids is happening on a spiritual level as well.

As we wait for adoption day, the day when I can respond to our daughter's pleas to keep her forever with TOTAL confidence, I continue to trust and pray with a thankful spirit as life gets a little more "normal" each day.  Now for a few recent pictures of normal....

Walking around in Mom's flat's brings hours of fun!

That's one big block of cheese......

One of these days Paul will leave the house like this....

They should start stocking headlamps in the baby section....

Hoppy Easter!  A little crafty fun.

"Just because" flowers from my wonderful husband.  What a guy!